Looking for an antidote

I want to do something impulsive. Something I’ve never done before. A wrench to my sore heart. I want to feel. Something I’ve never felt before.

“You never write happy things.” 

One cannnot express what one does not feel.

Give me an antidote

To ease this mind

We talked a lonely summer night  

Trees were full, hearts barren

I told you what happened when I was 9

And how I cried when I left my mother 

And every time I tell someone my sob story,

I wait to see “will they react differently?”

I’m parched

This mind’s been running on the frayed ends of your sanity

I need a pause mid-sentence 

Feel His breath down my neck

Watch over me

I’m so lost